Houston Texans
Record: 2-0
Week 2: Beat Jacksonville to death with blunt objects 27-7
Next: at Denver
The Texans couldn’t be much better than they are right now. If we are nitpicking, we point out that they have played one below average team with no quarterback (Miami), and one GOD AWFUL team with Blaine Gabbert taking snaps where a quarterback should be. For competitive whiplash, the Texans will now go from facing Blaine Gabbert to facing Peyton Manning. Manning’s arm strength is very clearly an issue despite Wade Phillips and Gary Kubiak’s attempts to convince the media and their players that he is the same old Peyton. Of course he’s not – but in his brain, he still is. If the Texans go into Denver overconfident and do not manage some of their coverage liabilities (Bradie James, Kareem Jackson), then they are going to be in for a long night at Mile High. Manning made it work against an aggressive defense in a win over Pittsburgh, and I’m not at all going to accept that what we saw on Monday night against the Falcons is going to be the Peyton Manning we see going forward. He is a brilliant football mind. He will adjust accordingly. If he doesn’t, and he continues to try to force the ball into places he’s not able to anymore – the Texans’ secondary will come up huge.

Indianapolis Colts
Record: 1-1
Week 2: Defeated Minnesota 23-20
Next: Hosts Jacksonville
I figured Indianapolis for about a 6-10 type season. I really do think Andrew Luck is all that, and he will win a few games for them on his own. Unfortunately for the ever-entitled Colts fan, their defense is pretty much a pile of wet garbage at this point, and their running game is a big fat nothing. The Colts will beat a few teams with very weak defenses, especially in the secondary – but the Titans are so bad that Indy may be the new prohibitive favorite to look up at Houston from the 2nd place seat in 2012. Crazy thing is – the Texans play a very “losable” game this week in Denver, and I’m definitely picking the Colts to beat Jacksonville, which would put Houston and Indianapolis in a tie for first place (which of course will not last long if it goes down that way).

Tennessee Titans
Record: 0-2
Week 2: Lost to San Diego 38-10
Next: Hosts Detroit
The Titans are a complete and total disaster. Jake Locker looks out of sorts and often out of control. Their once mega-star running back Chris Johnson is now just a clown who shows minimal effort, no toughness, and takes no responsibility for his failings. It used to be fun to pick on the Titans and their hillbilly fans, but now it’s just sad (and REALLY fun). Titans fans, your owner is a joke, and now you have the team to match. I hope you’re all glad he wasted any shot you had at an offseason by chasing the pipe dream of signing Peyton Manning. See you in a couple of weeks, twonks.

Jacksonville Jaguars
Record: 0-2
Week 2: Got their heads bashed into powder by the Texans 27-7
Next: Move to LA (or possibly a visit to Indianapolis)
Blaine Gabbert is significantly improved! Blaine Gabbert is not the same QB from last year! Blaine Gabbert is gonna surprise a lot of folks! Ummkay. Maybe he will look better against other teams, but he looked as bad or worse against Houston as he did last year. Granted, the Texans are A JUGGERNAUT, but not one time did Gabbert ever have a fingertip of control of that game. I will say this much for him – the patented “Gabbert Collapse” wasn’t there this year. It has apparently been replaced by running directly to the OLB for a sack.